Title: ジキルの愛情実証実験 (Jekyll’s Love Verification Test)
Circle: Pizuya’s Cell
Vocal: 普透明度 (Futoumeido)
Lyrics: 虎ヶ咲まなみ (Tora Saki Manami)
Arrangement: pizuya, yuta, hellnian
Release Date: Dec 29, 2016 (C91)
Requested By: Ihsan Bintang Ariaji
A very quick-paced, darker rendition of Hangover of Bedfellows Dreaming Differently. It’s quite dense in terms of lyrics per bar and transforms the song quite liberally by only preserving the first note of each bar in the main riff and changing up how the song reaches the next bar. I noticed this trend of transformation happens a lot more as Touhou Circles get older and feel the need to separate with the original composition which bothers some fans. However, some of my favorite arranges significantly deviate from the original so I actually welcome the change (I feel Hangover of Bedfellows Dreaming Differently is a little harder to arrange in the first place).
The song itself is about someone who constantly fears that her lover doesn’t truly love her back and puts them through tests that she herself knows are cruel and terrible. The lyrics of the song are joy to read like most songs from Pizuya, which is a bit of a shame due to how crowded they feel in the song. I also started to mark syllable emphasis in the romaji.
o·bi·e·ta hi·to·mi ga wa·ta·shi wo u·tsu·shi·ta
mi·ta·sa·re·te yu·ku yu·ga·n·da ko·ko·ro
su·te·ki yo so·no ka·o da·re ni mo mi·se·na·i·de
ki·mi no kyo·u·fu mo wa·ta·shi da·ke ga do·ku·se·n shi·te i·ta·i no
- 怯えた瞳が 私を映した
- 満たされてゆく歪んだ心
- 素敵よ その
表情 誰にも見せないで - 君の恐怖も私だけが独占していたいの
- I saw my reflection in your frightened eyes
- My heart is becoming distorted
- How wonderful, don’t show that face to anyone else
- I want even your fear all to myself
ki·mi wo cha·n·to a·i·shi·ta·i da·ke
so·re na no ni do·u·shite?
fu·a·n ba·ka·ri ga o·o·ki·ku na·ru no
ku·ru·shi·ku·te i·ki ga de·ki·na·i
- 君をちゃんと愛したいだけ
- それなのにどうして？
- 不安ばかりが大きくなるの
- 苦しくて息ができない
- All I want is to love you enough
- so then why is it
- that the only thing growing is unease?
- Painfully, I can’t breathe
chi·ga·u ko·nna ha·zu ja na·i
ko·ko·ro ga ki·shi·mu o·to
ki·mi ga ku·re·ru a·ta·ta·ka·sa wo shi·n·ji·te·ru no ni
fu·a·n ga ki·e·te ku·re·zu ki·mi wo ta·me·shi·te shi·ma·u
i·ba·ra no ku·bi·wa de tsu·na·gi to·me
so·re de mo yu·ru·shi·te ku·re·ru no ka wo
- 違う こんなはずじゃない
- こころが軋む音
- 君がくれる暖かさを 信じてるのに
- 不安が消えてくれず 君を試してしまう
- 荊の首輪で繋ぎ止め
- それでも許してくれるのかを
- No, it shouldn’t be like this
- My heart creaks[1]Lit. a groaning/creaking sound
- even though I believe in the warmth you give me
- Still anxious, I have to test you[2]The singer uses “te shimau” which indicates that she doesn’t do it on purpose. Because her anxiety gets the better of her, she “ends up” testing her lover.
- Even when chained by a collar of thorns[3]Getting some strong domination imagery here.
- would you still forgive me?[4]This final sentence is implied to be the actual test.
fu·ru·e·ru ryo·u·te de ki·mi wo da·ki·shi·me·ta
ko·n·na ya·ri·ka·ta shi·ka shi·ra·na·i no
ta·su·ke·te o·ne·ga·i do·ko ni mo i·ka·na·i de
ki·mi no ya·sa·shi·sa wa·ta·shi da·ke ga yu·i·i·tsu de i·sa·se·te yo
- 震える両手で 君を抱きしめた
- こんなやり方しか知らないの
- 助けて お願い 何処にも行かないで
- 君のやさしさ私だけが「唯一」でいさせてよ
- I hugged you with trembling hands
- I only know how to do it this way
- Help me, please, don’t go anywhere
- With your kindness, please make me your one and only
ki·mi wo cha·n·to a·i·shi·ta·i da·ke
so·re na no ni do·u·shi·te
ki·mi ni mo·ra-tta ki·mo·chi ga na·n·de
ko·ko·ro ni a·na wo a·ke·te·ku no?
- 君をちゃんと愛したいだけ
- それなのにどうして？
- 君に貰った気持ちがなんで
- こころに穴を開けてくの？
- All I want is to love you enough
- so then why is it?
- Why are the feelings I received from you
- opening a hole in my heart?
chi·ga·u ko·nna ha·zu ja na·i
na·mi·da ga ko·bo·re·te·ku
ki·mi ga o·shi·e·te ku·re·ta a·i shi·n·ji·te·ru no ni
fu·a·n ga ki·e·na·i ka·ra ki·mi wo ta·me·shi·te shi·ma·u
na·ni·mo·ka·mo su·be·te u·ba·i·sa·ri
so·re·de·mo yu·ru·shi·te ku·re·ru no ka wo
- 違う こんなはずじゃない
- 涙がこぼれてく
- 君が教えてくれた愛 信じてるのに
- 不安が消えないから 君を試してしまう
- 何もかもすべて奪い去り
- それでも許してくれるのかを
- No, it shouldn’t be like this
- I begin to cry
- even though I believe in the love that you taught me
- Since my anxiety won’t go away, I have to test you
- Even if I deprive you of everything
- would you still forgive me?
wa·ta·shi wa ki·mi wo cha·n·to a·i·shi·ta·i da·ke
so·re na no ni do·u·shi·te
ki·mi wo a·i su·ru ki·mo·chi no se·i de
ma·to·me de na·n·ka i·ra·re·na·i
- 私は君をちゃんと愛したいだけ
- それなのにどうして？
- 君を愛する気持ちのせいで
- まともでなんかいられない
- All I want is to love you enough
- so then why is it
- that because of my feelings for you
- somehow, in the end, I can’t go on?
so·u ne ko·re de i·i no yo ne
ko·re ga wa·ta·shi no a·i
ki·mi wa ko·e·te ku·re·ru ha·zu shi·n·ji·te·ru ka·ra
fu·a·n wo ke·shi·sa·ru ta·me ki·mi wo ta·me·shi·te shi·ma·u
do·u·ka shi·te·ru so·u ne
so·re de mo ta·me·shi·te shi·ma·u
u·ra·gi-tte ki·zu·tsu·ke
so·re de·mo a·i·shi·te ku·re·ru no ka wo
- そうね これでいいのよね
- これが私の愛
- 君は応えてくれるはず 信じてるから
- 不安を消し去るため 君を試してしまう
- 「どうかしてる」 そうね
- それでも試してしまう
- 裏切って傷つけ
- それでも愛してくれるのかを
- Yes, that’s right, this is fine
- This is my love
- I trust that you’ll meet my expectations someday[5]The usage of the kanji 応 (answer, meet expectations) in this line seems to fulfill 試 (test, experiment) as they are both used in academic language.
- So in order to eliminate my anxiety, I have to test you
- “You’re crazy!” Yes, that’s true
- Even so, I have to test you
- Hurting you and betraying you
- Even if I do so, would you still love me?
Notes
| ↑1 | Lit. a groaning/creaking sound |
|---|---|
| ↑2 | The singer uses “te shimau” which indicates that she doesn’t do it on purpose. Because her anxiety gets the better of her, she “ends up” testing her lover. |
| ↑3 | Getting some strong domination imagery here. |
| ↑4 | This final sentence is implied to be the actual test. |
| ↑5 | The usage of the kanji 応 (answer, meet expectations) in this line seems to fulfill 試 (test, experiment) as they are both used in academic language. |
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